Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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