My Higher Power is John Stamos
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
