I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
