what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
