Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
