Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
