my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think my vagina is haunted
You smell like stripper and shame
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
