i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think my moral compass just broke
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