they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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