I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
