LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
