You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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