first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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