party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
