I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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