maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
