did you get engaged???
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
