Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize