Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
