is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
