i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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