So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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