Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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