Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
