I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
