The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
3 2 1 whiskey
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
