More tranny stories later!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
