I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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