were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
