you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize