she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
