she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
