Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
