i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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