We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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