Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
