We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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