You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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