she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize