I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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