Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
