What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
