I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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