Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
