So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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