Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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