Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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