How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
