I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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