ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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