a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
