he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
