Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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