i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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