She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
