I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
