If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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