i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
