All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
