Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do vagina's smell?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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