Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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