You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize