You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
