Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
