Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
