nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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