I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
