You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
