All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
