his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
