I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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