i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize