one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
