in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
