I'm gonna have a badass scar
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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