Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
