a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
