worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
