i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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