i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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