Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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