All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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