yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize